That Floating Excrement Was Far Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.
Looking back, we consider the TV landscape of the recent year, a selection of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their spectacular shortcomings. From awkward sequels to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the productions that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.
The 'Sex and the City' Sequel
How to start with this divisive follow-up? Burdened with dreadful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the third season started, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Still, fans undeniably found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a small sob?
All’s Fair
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the least of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the flaws. The laughably leaden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and materialism? The seemingly deliberate procession of tropes? Acting so poor they felt almost spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this series again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Considering the restraining orders, abuse claims and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part docuseries which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless excess while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.
MobLand
Shady characters convening in empty boxing gyms? The Prodigy’s Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just really boring; a conflict over drug-selling territory between various cockney picaresques which seemed a bit basic.
The Meghan Markle Series
Given the extent to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue come to life; a poster for wine o’clock with delusions of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are clearly interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to explore them. Rather, the experience was like consuming a sales catalogue. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.
The Inheritance
It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to live up to something far greater than it.
Too Much
How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.
The Sketch Show Return
Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.
Given the shrewd recruitment of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.
The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox
This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right voice, lumbering from strangely breezy, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A total mess? Very much so.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Silliness-by-numbers.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the content creator notorious for explicit escapades as she prepared for her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was far greater interrogation of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and zero interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.
